The Official Blog Of Edward Cline

Ann Ravel: Our Wannabe Nurse Ratched

Real and wannabe censors are up to their
old tricks again. Real censors are the Democratic members of the Federal Election Committee (FEC). The wannabe
censors are also members of
the FEC,
and are Republicans. If the latter didn’t think anyone should be
censored in any venue – print, radio, television, or Internet – they wouldn’t
accept appointments to the FEC, nor wish to be in the same room with the real
censors.
That being said, the Bipartisan
Campaign Reform Act of 2002
(BCRA,
McCain–Feingold Act of 2002) is
the typical miscegenational product of bipartisanship between Republicans and
Democrats that advances further government controls. But then, that’s all one
can expect of pragmatic bipartisanship efforts, in which the Republicans forget
or discard their alleged principles, but the Democrats don’t and get some or
all of what they want: More controls.
I happened by chance to hack into the
personal blog of the Vice Chair of the FEC and discovered this startling and
secret memo passed on to her fellow Democrats on the Commission. The text of it
follows, and seems to be addressed, not to her ideological ilk, but to a
hypothetical individual for whom Ravel nurtures a revealing, disturbing, if not
psychotic animus:
My name is Ann M. Ravel, Vice
Chair of the FEC. I’m a pal of Cass
Sunstein
. Remember him? And David
Brooks
? And Justice Stevens? They wanted to regulate your speech, too, or
at least “nudge” you painlessly to politically acceptable and responsible
speech. Now, don’t tell me that you, a lone blogger eking out an existence in
Milord Obama’s trashed economy, aren’t a one-man political action committee, that
you aren’t incorporated anywhere, not even in Delaware, you don’t sell your
drivel to others or pay anyone to run it, and that your only expenses are your
time and whatever it costs you to write and publish in the way of printer ink
and paper. It doesn’t matter to me if you’ve spent a zillion dollars or the
cost of a store-brand chicken pot pie, your speech ought to be regulated, and,
if necessary, squelched.
And if you persist
in running off your mouth about things you aren’t qualified to even think about,
I can sic the IRS
or the DOJ on you. All it will take is a phone call and a pen twirling between my
fingers, just as my boss, President Obama, boasts he can do. He’s my guy!
Listen up, plebian!
Allow me to instruct you in current political realities: The basic end of any
censor is: I don’t want you to know this about this person or issue. I want to
keep you in the dark about this issue. You don’t need to know this and I have
the power to keep you ignorant. The flip side of those desires is that I want
to stop you from enlightening people, or telling them what you think, or
writing or producing biased evaluations of persons and events and issues and
broadcasting it on the Internet unless it’s by the leave of this Commission.
You see, I’m not as creative as you and I have nothing to boast of in the way
of actually creating or producing anything, I’m just a career government wonk.
Also I’m an
ambitious censor. I don’t mind being called a censor. Words and pictures can
hurt people, or causes. But that label doesn’t frighten me or cause me to
shrink in shame. In that capacity I’m a protector of the “public good,” or the “public
interest,” at least, as my party defines them.  I’m totally copasetic with the name “censor.”
Don’t think I wouldn’t
hesitate to take drastic action should you not comply with all FEC rules and
regulations. My colleagues on the commission don’t call me “Nurse Ratched” for nothing!
You’ve got to learn the ropes of responsible political speech, and that lesson not
only applies to mere printed words on a blog site, but to YouTube videos and
lectures, as well. Then there’s that nasty Drudge
Report
site, so rich in misinformation and lies and libels.  You and Drudge and all your compadres in the “free
speech” tent must take your medicine, voluntarily, or “some other way.”
You see, I can
delegate the task of washing your mouth out with soap or cuffing you for a
frog-march to jail, just as my pals Barack and Hillary had done to that Copt
creature who made that reckless and irresponsible “The
Innocence of Mohammad
” video. I don’t have to do it myself.
That geriatric dinosaur
Republican Lee
Goodman
actually “ratted
on me to the newspapers and blog
sites
about my wanting to slap cuffs
and gags
on you and your First Amendment chums. He’s the Chair of the FEC
and will retire from it in December. A wonderful Christmas present!. I’m the
Vice Chair, and I hope “Open Borders/Ebola Obama” nominates me as his successor
or just lets me sidle into his place at the table without any fuss and bother
with Congress and the Senate.
Actually, I would
like to be appointed to a Cabinet post in this or the next administration. Then
I could wield more power as a “czarina.” Excuse my drooling!
I understand you’ve
written a number of books, fiction and nonfiction, in addition to your
scurrilous and badly written column. And in many of them you depict government and
public service and the like in a very negative light. That has got to stop. And in three
of your nonfiction books, you practically libel retired Justice
Stevens
and in another portray my friend Hillary as Lady
Macbeth
! Not very funny! We are not amused. Wait until she’s President. She’s
going to have you for dinner and feed the scraps to Huma Abedin and her other pigeons
and lackeys. I’ll have a hand in that, count on it. And wait until we get
Congress to amend the Campaign Finance Law and gives the FEC wider powers of
enforcement! I hope we’ll get our own SWAT team!
But maybe we won’t
need those extra powers and an army of body-armored bodkins . I’m sure the NSA
has had you red-flagged for a long time and is only waiting for the opportunity
to swoop down on you and sweep you off the Internet. Let’s see how long you
last under a few sessions of electrical water-boarding!
Your nemesis and
eternal enemy, Nurse Mildred Ratched. Oh, excuse me! Ha, ha! Wrong name! Ann M.
Ravel, FEC Vice Chair.
And that was the end of the memo. Quite a
confession. Of course, if one proposed that the Campaign Finance Law be
abolished by repeal as being in violation of the First Amendment, and all its
attendant commissions and bureaucracies be disbanded and its personnel put out
to pasture to fend for themselves in the real world, that proposal would be
laughed right out the door, and possibly be frowned upon a politically
incorrect speech.
And that would suit Wretched Mildew a.k.a.
Ann Ravel just fine.
               

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2 Comments

  1. Edward Cline

    Those readers who think I lay too much blame on Immanuel Kant for encouraging modern "art," should read one of many contemporary and scholarly essays on the subject, such as Stephen Hicks's piece here:

    http://www.stephenhicks.org/2010/06/10/kant-and-modern-art/

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