From day one in his first term of office,
President Barack Obama has given America his middle finger. I’m surprised so
many people haven’t noticed it. Here’s a State of the Union address he’d never
dare make, but I’m sure he would like to, just to let his hair down. It would
probably be written by his good pal Bill Ayers, or his proxy mom, Valerie
Jarrett. Or by the fired press secretary Jay Carney, on a consultation basis
for a handsome fee.
“Folks of America, my pals in Congress
and the Supreme Court, and my pals overseas and across the border:
“As you all well know, I’m going to
transform this country, whether or not Americans like it. If Congress and the
states won’t help me, I’ll do it myself with my executive powers. Americans are
just going to have to eat it. Do I intend to turn this country into a
third-rate country like Mexico? Yes. It’s about time it was knocked down to
size.
“How am I going to do this? I will
further bankrupt it with more TARP-like financial boondoggles, industry
bailouts, costly subsidies to companies not likely to succeed, increasing the
powers of government surveillance on ordinary Americans, recruiting the EPA to
enforce rules guaranteed to drive coal and oil out of business, imposing a
healthcare insurance scheme on the country that will really hurt Americans in
the pocketbook, and forcing everyone to kowtow to the government and its
programs whether or not they like it. Oh, there are so many ways to screw this
country!
“Don’t like it? Tough.  Eat it. Your senators and representatives –
generations of them – voted government those powers and now we’re going to use
them like there’s no tomorrow. After all, it’s doubtful I’ll have a third term.
It’s our hope that that harridan, Hillary, will pick up where we leave off, if
she’s nominated and runs for election. We can fix that election, too. She’s for
what I’m for, although she’s not as good a dissimulator as I am. Dissimulator? Me??
Using a five-syllable word! Shame on me! Sounds like a thing that processes
nuclear fuel in Iran!
“You know Michelle
and I really hate this country. It isn’t black or brown enough. So I’ve reached
an understanding with Mexico
and several Central American governments to send their diseased and pliable mosquitoes
north across the border. Trainloads
of them
. This is necessary because it’s assumed that these otherwise
useless people will express their gratitude by voting Democrat in every future
election, local, state and national.
“That’s the plan. And they won’t need
Attorney General Holder’s New Black Panthers to make sure they do vote the
right way. They won’t need super-sized, gun-toting Colombian or Mexican drug
cartels (Eric’s special program to discredit private gun ownership)  to ensure it, either, or any of the Central
American criminals
and gang
members
we’re bringing in with their colorfully tattooed faces and chests. Mexico
is being very cooperative – even eager, they’re so envious of the U.S. – in funneling
all these Central American mosquitoes through its country right up to our
borders. A truly “In Your Face” example of international cooperation!
Like crap through a goose, they’ll come, as General Patton once put it,
although I can’t recall the context and I’m not really certain who he was.
“You know, those gang members, they’re
a lot like those Maori morons in New Zealand, who tattooed their faces and
stuck their tongues out when they fought the evil white settlers in their
country. Funny!
“Shssh! Don’t tell anyone, but it’s an
open
secret
that this was all a manufactured
crisis
. Tailor-made by yours truly. A rescue operation for my pals the
Democrats. Even if we must stoop to really dirty tricks to preserve their power
over this country, this is what they’re willing to do. As am I, to use correct English!
Swamp the country with newly baked registered – or unregistered, if you will –
Democrats.
“We’ve also made arrangements to put
the mosquitoes up in fine
quarters
you middle class folks probably can’t afford any more – and you’ll
pay for it, too!
“We’ve also established an
understanding with Islam’s finest representatives in this country to let
Muslims pour in, too, and we’ll be resettling them in the unlikeliest place –
right on your
doorstep
and those of countless other Americans. Don’t like it? Eat it.
“You people are going to have to learn
how to obey my commands and fit into my agenda without protest or criticism. Just
move along, there’s nothing to see here. You’re going to submit, dhimmi-style, as they’d call it in Islam
– or else.  I’m doing good, don’t you see?  It’s the altruistic thing to do. I command, you sacrifice.  It meshes
very nicely with my agenda to transform this country.
“Don’t bother me with Constitutional
issues. I’m not interested. Some people claim I’m tearing up the Constitution.
Wow! They finally noticed! That moldy piece of paper was written by a bunch of
rich white guys (and, by the way, I hate the British, too!). It’s time all
those rights and protections and guarantees were replaced with populist
principles recognized by Progressives as right and true to create a more just
society, a more equitable society, a fairer society.
“And, it’s only fair that these newly
minted citizens have a right to send your hard-earned taxed dollars back
to their home countries
to keep their governments afloat and in power. These
new citizens don’t ever plan to return to their countries of origin, but that’s
your problem, not mine.
“I don’t want to hear any back talk –
in town
hall meetings
, on the sides
of buildings
, or anywhere – about the immigrants or where we settle them or
what damage they do to your communities. One peep out of you racists and we’ll
send SWAT teams after you. Or file a “hate crime” or “hate
speech” suit against you.
“You folks in the news media: Thanks
for all your help! Love you guys! Except when you ask questions I’m not
prepared to answer…truthfully, anyway. Then you’re in hot water, as you already
know. Drone time! (chuckles) Otherwise, keep up the fine job of believing everything
I say and sharing my vision! And stop giving my press secretaries such a hard
time! They become stuttering train wrecks and I might need to hire a fourth
before I boggy out of the White House!
“So what if Somalians and Pakistanis
and Afghanis Iraqis and Mexicans and Hondurans haven’t a clue to why they’re
here. So what if they kill each other and go on crime sprees and play the
“knockdown” game on you whites and Asians who all think you’re so
special because you say ‘you built it’ and those poor losers didn’t. You’ve had
it coming, and I’m the master of ceremonies. And if you protest and call me a
racist or a communist or some other derogatory or libelous name I’m going to
get the IRS and DHS and the DEA and EPA or the HHS to target you for special
attention and work to haul your asses to jail or just make your lives
miserable.  Just like that stupid Copt
was who made that defamatory video about Muslims.
“My staff passed on to me a really
scurrilous comment by some blogger about what I’m doing to his country (pardon the chuckle!), captured by the NSA. Here’s what
it read:
‘No borders, no standards, immigrants going wherever they want, by the
tens of thousands, or where the government sends them – ours  is no longer a country as an identifiable
entity with lines of delineation, but a region open to all comers who have
nothing but ‘squatting rights’ to claim, and in a former country with no law to
back up their claims and no government to defend citizens against the
squatters. Currently, under the pillaging Democrats, this is premeditated, state-managed
anarchy.’
“Now, that’s one bright fellow! Nailed
my method down with six-inch nails! Come the Revolution that’s in process, we’re
going to have to take care of him. You know what I mean. Can’t have him
blabblin’ all over the country! Wrote a lot of novels. My staff tells me
they’re blasphemous against Islam, treasonous in politics, and don’t have very
many minority characters in them, either. You won’t find them in my library!
“I commend all my Jewish friends who
are in lockstep with my agenda: Ben Bernanke, Rahm Emanuel, Dominique
Strauss-Kahn, David Axlerod, Alan Dershowitz, Elena Kagan, Michael Bloomberg,
Ruth Bader Ginsburg, George Soros, and Thomas Friedman – to name but a few. The
rest of you Jews, go suck an egg! Shoe a goose! Wail against your stupid Wall!
“That goes for Israel, too! You go,
Hamas! Kibosh their kippahs! And you
guys are truly altruistic by asking your friends and relatives and children to
act as human shields against Israel’s bombs! You’re to be patted on the back! The
Pope ought to donate some of the Vatican’s treasures just to keep you in cash. I
think he wants to, in the name of democracy! (Faint sound of raspberries off-mike)
 Hope you kill as many of those damned
kikes as you can! And, don’t worry: We’ll keep sending you millions in aid
until you accomplish your end and erase that scabby country from the face of
the earth!
“Folks! Just get used to the idea that
I’m the Boss. Not that cracker Bruce
Springsteen with his twangy music, even though he seems to be on my side. I’m the Boss! The Boss is me!
“You’ll have to excuse me now. I have
a golf date at Boca Pointe Club in
Boca Raton. A really amazing place. It suits my lifestyle, defines my
experience as a lousy golfer, as its ads say. You’re paying for it, folks, as
you’ve paid for all my outings. I have a Secret Service guy following me around
as my caddy. I’d prefer a Marine, but that umbrella stunt in the Rose Garden
was enough of a humiliation for that outfit. 
And those Marines keep saluting me! The joke’s on them!
“All my friends and foolish supporters
out there – Latinos, Muslims, Blacks, Leftards, friendly Jews – Keep on
truckin’! Vote early and often, as a true boss man once said. Obama for America is there to help
you with voter registration and false documents.
“All you others, go fly a kite! Cling
to your guns. Frame your Constitution. Wave your flags! You won’t have them for
long!
“Good night, folks! And, to borrow a
phrase from my lovable former Chicago pastor: God Damn America!”